Birthname Cheshire!

Birthname Cheshire!
Updates To My Saga!

For the most part, throughout my life, I have not thought much about my adoption. I know society, or at least the politicos, prefer adoptees keep that part of their lives "Hushed Up" anyway. But, with keeping my true feelings and needs bottled up, brought the price of many harmful byproducts, and side effects. One was a rebellious, antisocial attitude. Another, was the dreaded bout with substance abuse, and the utter mess that came with it. Hey after all, I was an adolescent. Teenagers have enough "normal" anxieties, without adding into the mix, the fact that you have no clues to your true identity, or heritage!

I wish others not touched by adoption, could feel the confusion and turmoil of not knowing their roots! No, actually, I couldn't wish that upon any warm blooded human being. All I can say, is that it has not been an easy road to travel. I thank Our Maker and my maker, my birthmom, on a daily basis, for giving me the chance to live this wonderful, but typically taken for granted, life!

The following is my online journal as to what I have done thus far. I pray it will have a joyous ending!!

October, 1994 I made the first move. I sent for my non-id information, from the California Department of Social Services.

January, 1995 Well, that didn't take to long! Received my non-id. This was a major revelation to me! For the first time in my life, I knew about my siblings! I have a sister, three years older than me! I also have three younger brothers! Needless to say I'm very excited at this point! But what do I do now?
February, 1995 Was able to sum up the courage to ask my A dad for my adoption paperwork. He knew I would ask one day. He actually had it all ready for me! Now I have my mothers name, or so I thought! She went by her married name Edna Durelle Cheshire. I still didn't have her maiden name. I figured Durelle was her maiden name, WRONG!
March - June, 1995 Library, phone books, public records, book reading etc. Nothing, lots of dead ends! Basically, I quit for awhile at this point! Seemed like I was wasting my time.
December, 1997 Guess what? I bought a computer! Looks like the search is on again! Had to learn how to use this darn thing first!
February, 1998 Did just a cursory scan of what resources were available on the Web. Don't have the time to plunge in to this thing! Oh, sweet procrastination! What a cop-out! Or maybe it's fear of what I may or may not find?
July 15, 1998 Submitted my information to the International Soundex Reunion Registry, and every other free reputable on line registry.
August 18, 1998 Got confirmation from ISRR.
January, 1999 Ok it's finally time to get serious! Started to build my web page "Birthname Cheshire!".
February, 1999 My web page is done. That's not true. Web pages are never done, are they? Began to join adoption related webrings. So far I am in: More to follow, I'm sure! Next, I began to join e-mail lists, that are related to adoption. Here are the ones I am currently on:
  • Ca-adoptees List
  • Ny and Ca List
  • Heart Of Triad List
  • Searching For Siblings List
  • Adoption Search List
  • Adoptees Internet Mailing List
If you would like more information on joining some of these lists go to: One List and type adoption in the search box. You will get a ton of lists on adoption issues, or anything else under the sun, for that matter! But of course be careful out there. Seems like everybody is after our money! That seems to be the way of the world these days! But you already know that, if you're an experienced web surfer! And if your not, caution is advised
February 26, 1999 Today I received an e-mail from Luanne P. She is a searcher, that's going to run my Birth mom's name through a few databases, pro bono. Thank you Luanne, I greatly appreciate the favor, which I will gratefully return someday! If my search stalls again, she will certainly get my business!
March 1, 1999 Luanne sent me another e-mail today. This one said "I Found Your Birthmom!" Yikes!!!!!!!! It's her, I know it! Well I called the supplied phone number, but it was the Welfare Dept in San Francisco! I just knew Edna was on welfare! Anyhow, Luanne dug up another phone number and I tried again. This time it was someone else named E. Dixon. I have to chill for a couple of days, and regroup! My nerves are shot at this point!
March 5, 1999 Well, I still had an address. So I did the logical thing, wrote and sent Edna a letter.
March 15, 1999 It's been 10 long days and still no word. My next move would probably be, to go down to the city where Edna lives and ring her doorbell. But I don't want to seem like a stalker or freak her out. What should I do? I'll give it more time.
March 17, 1999 Well it's official! I'm a Proud Bastard! I joined Bastard Nation, and received my confirmation via E-mail today. Wouldn't you like to be a proud bastard too? Join now!
April 8, 1999 Still no word. I am thinking of sending Edna another letter, or card. But I think I'll give it a little more time. Heck it's already been 33 years what can a couple more months hurt?
April 25, 1999 I got a phone call from a Pastor in San Francisco today. He told me that he had someone on the line that wanted to talk to me. Guess who?? It's her after 33 years I am talking to my Birth Mother, Edna on the phone!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, by the way, she likes to be called by her middle name Durelle! We talked for about an hour. She was telling me about my Birth father and my birth sister, who she sought out and contacted, but has since lost contact again!! It looks like the puzzle is coming together!!! I now am going to meet Durelle, on Mother's Day. I thought that was fitting! Have the full name of my birth father, date of birth, and wedding date. He should not be difficult to locate now. I also have the first name and dob of my birth sis! I gotta stop now! I feel totally drained and relieved at the same time!! Oh what a wonderful day! Thank you JESUS!
May 8, 1999 It's Birth Mother's Day! And I reunited with my Birth mom Durelle today!! It's been 33 years since I saw her last! I felt strange, dumbfounded actually. I let her do most of the talking. Boy, and can she talk! She filled me in on my Bdad, Charles Harold Cheshire, 5/21/35 and half sister, Rosie Marie Dixon, 2/3/56. Her fathers last name was McClarity. I gave her some pictures of her twin grand sons, and she gave me a New Testament from when I was a baby, with inscriptions in it!Anyway, Durelle is a recovering alcoholic, basically, she is a bag lady, and has been living on SSI, in Downtown San Francisco all these years! I have probably passed right by her before without realizing who she was! Overall it was a very good day! I am still feeling rather strange, detatched and light headed even now as I write this! Tomorrow, she will meet my family, and her grandsons for the first time!
May 9, 1999 Mother's Day! Well, we had a great time today! Durelle got to meet her only Grandchildren! I gave her a beautiful gold cross and chain for Mother's Day! She thought it was lovely! We had a nice lunch at Sinbad's, down by the Ferry Building in San Francisco. Later on, we took a leisurely stroll around Pier 39 and The Wharf. By this time it was getting late, so I dropped Durelle off, but not before my boys and I gave her a great big hug! It was another exceptional day!
May 10, 1999 I posted all the new info about my bdad and sis, and told all the wonderful people on my E-mail lists, what's been going on lately, with my story!
May 10, 1999 Luanne strikes again! Looks as though she has located my Birth Dad! What a wonderful woman she is. I pray the Lord's goodness shines upon her! But I need to give myself some time though. I'm still reeling from this last weekends events!
May 17, 1999 Durelle has called me 5 times in the last 8 days! She has even hinted at me giving her some money! I'm not sure where this relationship is headed? I am afraid to upset her. I don't want to send her back to the booze above all else, but I need her to give me some space! I haven't had a mother for alot of years now. I'm not sure at this point if I want one? I need to sort this whole thing out, and not offend, but I must tell her to back off! I have a family to love and provide for, a full time job, and a business on the side, that consumes all my spare time! Spare time?? What in the world is that?? The next time that panhandler on the corner asks me if I can spare some change. I'm gonna ask him if he'd give me some of his spare time in return!! d;-} I just hope she can understand! Isn't life grand!?!

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