Teaching by Venerable Lama Assi

Impermanence by Venerable Lama Assi

Death and dying is not an easy subject to discuss because it deals with something terrible about this life. However, once we are born, we have to die. You might ask why we need to be reminded of this but it is very important. Most people don’t like hearing or thinking about death but unfortunately, once we are born, we can’t escape from it and when it happens, it is very difficult. Why it is important to be familiar with death and dying is because it will help us at the time when death inevitably comes.

We all die sooner or later, you never hear of someone who was born and didn’t die. Everyone and everything is impermanent. Even a universe has a beginning, duration and an eventual destruction. This could happen to our universe at any moment. When it happens, there is not so much as a single stone remaining. Likewise, all of life is impermanent; nothing remains the same. What we once had, we no longer have.

Externally, the whole universe is impermanent, every moment it is changing, and all human beings are impermanent. Friends and the nature of our friendships change; also friends pass away. Some people die in their mother’s womb; others die young while expecting to live to old age.

We can die at any time - young, middle-aged or old. This is the reality of death. Too many things can cause death in this life. Some people die not expecting to die. Not thinking about death, we make many plans. When death comes - maybe by way of an accident - our plans remain unfinished. Once born in the human realm, we change from being a baby to a toddler, then we grow bigger and go to school, then we’re a teenager, etc. This is impermanence; change happens day by day, minute by minute. No matter what we are doing, we are changing, dying. Some people reach middle age and some reach old age. If they still have a good mind at that time they are very lucky. Regardless how old we are, we have to be aware of death.

When death comes there is much suffering. The suffering of old age is small compared to what we experience at death, but we all have to die. It is like a sickness that can’t be cured by any doctor, friend or family. No one can help us at that time; we have to go through it on our own. The pain at that time is really bad; it’s a hundred times more than we experience now. If in this life you did bad things, the pain when you die is even worse. Once dead, you have to leave your body behind and your consciousness wanders the bardo where the suffering is even worse. The only thing that can save you at that time is your accumulation of good deeds. In this way, your practice and the teachings are your best friends.

So, in our life we have to do more practice and remember impermanence; we have to prepare day by day, minute by minute, and accumulate as much good merit as we can. There are many things we can do to help ourselves when we die but we can’t do them without preparation. We have to do this while we are alive. Maybe some people don’t like to hear these things, I’m sorry about that, but there are things we can do, step by step, to reduce the suffering at the time of our death. It depends on us. First we should read more books and develop confidence in the teachings then seek out a teacher and receive teachings. Briefly, death and dying is like that.



Question & Answers

Student: Is it true we have only a fixed number of breaths each lifetime?

Lama: Yes. When your time is up, there’s really nothing you can do to stop it. Not even Buddha Shakyamuni could stop his death from happening. If you have obstacles to your life, you might die through an accident without completing your life span. Some people can extend their life by breathing slowly for hours at a time.

Student: What can you do when you’re dying?

Lama: That’s why we concentrate on practice. If we are not sick or suffering too much, we should practise. This means creating strong and positive habitual patterns. If we are a good practitioner, when death comes, we will be more focused and won’t feel much pain.

Our body is borrowed from the four elements. When we die, our body becomes just like mud; we don’t even have feelings. Ngondro practice also prepares us for death. If you remember your deity with faith when you die, you will find your way without much problem.

Question: How do we accumulate good merit that will help us at the time of death?

Lama: Helping and benefiting others, such as giving to the needy, tending to the sick, etc. If you do such activities with a good, pure, motivation, it will not only help them but also it will help you, yourself. The reason we are in samsara is because we have only ever thought about ourself; that’s why we suffer. Other beings, just like us, don’t like to suffer. This is true of all sentient beings, not just humans. If you trust in the Buddha, or in your religion, and wish all sentient beings to be free from suffering, you will collect good merit. Automatically, your mind will change for the better.

Question: How can we help someone who is dying who is not Buddhist? What benefit is there in sponsoring pujas, etc, on their behalf?

Lama: There is certainly some benefit in dedicating the merit of pujas to dying people. If they have some karmic connection, it’s possible they might even wake up at that time. Even non-Buddhist people can benefit; it might help them face their death with calm, for instance.

When I was thirteen, my aunt got lost in one of the many deep caves at Tso Pema. We searched and searched but couldn’t find her. After about a month, we assumed she had died and did a Hundred Deity Bardo Puja for her and dedicated acts of generosity, etc. Then, about two months later, she miraculously found her way out of the cave. Despite not drinking or eating anything the whole time she was away, she looked in good shape and felt good. We attribute this to the power of the pujas we did for her. So, even if the person hasn’t died, they can still benefit from a puja.

Question: If all things are impermanent, is there anything that isn’t?

Lama: Dharmakaya is permanent; apart from that, everything is impermanent. We usually believe strong buildings are permanent but they are not, one day they too have to fall apart. We work hard to save money, but money too is impermanent; the whole universe is impermanent.

Question: What is it that takes rebirth? Is that permanent?

Lama: Consciousness. Our body is composed of four elements that come together with consciousness at the time of conception. Consciousness to a certain degree is permanent.

Question: Do we choose our body?

Lama: In the bardo we have no choice, our karma determines what will happen to us. That’s why what we do now - in the way of practice - is so important.

Question: Is memory part of consciousness?

Lama: Some types of memory are but not everything. If you die with the thought to meet with the dharma again, you will. Some people remember their past lives.

Question: As the world’s population increases, where do the people come from?

Lama: There are six realms of existence, not just what is visible to us. Insects as well as animals can be born human too. When we lose our body, who knows where we will be born? A good reason to practice is so we will be born in to a good place.

Question: What are the six realms?

Lama: The Hell realms, Hungry Ghost realm, Animal Realm, Human realm, Jealous God realm and the God realm (of which there are two - the Form realm and the Formless realm). All these are cyclic.

Question: What actions create birth in the God realms?

Lama: Good actions motivated by self-joy, attachment to joy. The God realms are good but once one’s karma is exhausted, one falls to a lower birth - such as the Hell realms, etc.

Question: Is the Human realm best?

Lama: If you make good use of your rebirth in the Human realm, it is the best but if you misuse it, it is the worst. Due to the precious body you can achieve enlightenment in this very life. Having said that, not all humans have a precious human birth.

Question: What is the purpose of the bardo:

Lama: We don’t have any choice. Two types of rebirth are direct (and a bardo is not experienced). One is rebirth in to a pure land; the other is rebirth in to a Hell. Most people though, experience the bardo when they die for a period of forty-nine days; others experience it for only seven days. It depends on your karma. "Bardo" means, "intermediate state". You could say that we are currently in a bardo - a state between birth and death. This bardo is better than the bardo between death and birth because we have some control over what happens to us. In the bardo - between birth and death - the bardo being roams about thinking of their previous life dwelling in misery, then they begin to see where they are going to be born and after forty-nine days wandering, they are reborn.

Question: How many bardos are there?

Lama: Six.

Question: If you are a good person in the bardo, can you choose where you are going to be born?

Lama: First one must have practised morality and accumulated merit through meditation, etc, only then is it possible to choose your rebirth, unaffected by pain. For a good Buddhist student there is nothing to worry about, in fact they welcome it. A new rebirth is seen as yet another opportunity to work for sentient beings; they approach their death with control and confidence.

Question: How is it decided where you are reborn?

Lama: Your karma makes the choice.

Question: Is it like gravity?

Lama: Yes, very strongly.

Question: What are the Hell realms?

Lama: The Hell realms are characterised by much suffering. There are eighteen types of hell; some are cold, some hot, etc. We actually experience characteristics of each realm in out day to day life.

Question: What is "powa"?

Lama: This is where consciousness is ejected to a pure land. If one is a good practitioner, there is no bardo.

Question: What is the best way of dealing with fear and attachment?

Lama: Attachment is not good. Because everything is impermanent, sooner or later you have to part with whatever object it is you are attached. You have to train your mind; this is what practice means. This is very important. If you are prepared, when change happens, you won’t be sad.

Question: If you don’t have attachment, you wouldn’t feel sad when someone died. A friend of mine died of cancer and at the funeral I felt upset.

Lama: This is due to attachment. If one of your children or loved one died, you would be sad but there is nothing you can do at that time; no one can help. One day the same thing will happen to us. At that time, only the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and our good karma can help us.

Question: Does it help to make offerings every forty-nine days on behalf of the dying person?

Lama: Yes. You should pray and dedicate the merits; even when they have taken birth, it can still help the dead person.

Question: Is emotion a type of cleansing?

Lama: According to the Buddha’s teaching, it is better not to show your feelings to the dying person. It is much better to practise and to dedicate the merit. Once the dying person has died, they can go wherever they want because they have a kind of miracle body. If they see you crying, that is not good. As Buddhists, we try to control ourself, practise and dedicate the merit. Should emotions run high, you should regret them and determine not to let them happen again.

Question: How should we relate to the feelings we feel inside us?

Lama: You should learn to control yourself through meditation. It can also help to talk to a good friend and share your feelings.

Question: Some emotions are positive and others are negative; is it possible to transform the negative ones in to positive ones?

Lama: High practitioners can do that but for most people it is very difficult to do that. For good practitioners, that is actually the way.

Question: Are emotions useful to a good practitioner?

Lama: Yes. At a certain stage of practice, you actually need emotions to make things happen. Your teacher will tell you when you are ready; otherwise it is best to leave that sort of practice alone. It is really only for high level practitioners but unfortunately there are many books available on this subject these days.

Question: How can we manage our anger?

Lama: Through exercising control, by thinking differently. You should examine where the anger comes from and how it arises. Why an enemy exists is because of "I".

Question: Is wanting to protect dharma based on "I".

Lama: Not so much, because the motivation is not so much "I" as it is for others. Sometimes, you have to protect the dharma. Many thousands of years ago, the Buddha was a Bodhisattva. It was determined that the only way to save his village from a plague was to obtain a precious jewel from a naga queen who lived on an island far away in the ocean. To obtain this jewel was going to entail much hardship and would be very dangerous. The Bodhisattva publicly proclaimed he would help and set about building a boat. Many people volunteered and the Bodhisattva carefully explained the dangers and gave the volunteers several opportunities to withdraw. Finally, there was only a hundred people left but each was prepared to sacrifice their life, if necessary, to save the lives of the others. They journeyed for many months until they reached the island where the naga queen lived. Having obtained the precious jewel - which could only be given to a Bodhisattva for the purpose of helping others - the party then returned to the boat. Amongst the volunteers was a robber who intended to kill everyone else and keep the jewel for themself. Through his clairvoyance, the Bodhisattva saw the robber’s intention and thought what best to do. He basically had two choices. He could either let the robber kill the volunteers - who were also bodhisattvas - or he could kill the robber. He chose to kill the robber because if the robber had killed the Bodhisattvas his karma would have been tremendous. By killing the robber, he not only saved the lives of the others but he took on the karma himself. Normally when you take a life, you repay it five hundred times but because the Bodhisattva’s motivation was so pure, not once did he get born in a hell. So, we have to be mindful in what we do.

Question: What about mistakes?

Lama: Everything is created by ourselves. Some people think good and bad is due to an external god but this is not a Buddhist idea. Buddha showed us the path. We determine good or bad. If we are good, this brings about good; if we are bad, this brings about bad. When we die, our karma is totally without bias. Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, of cause, see our every action but they only ever encourage our success in good activities.

Question: How do we know what level we are at?

Lama: When you feel no difference between good and bad, happy and sad, then, at that time, you are a high practitioner. At this stage, you can eat bad food or good food and it tastes the same. This is because the distinction is made by our attachment. The same is true of our friends, good or bad, there’s no difference; this is not easy though.

Question: Is feeling bad, bad karma?

Lama: Bad karma comes about by doing something harmful towards others; it is cause and effect. Everyone has different karma and different suffering. Even within a family, your karma is not the same.