WELCOME TO ARIZONA


May 30th

Now this is a state that knows how to live!  Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts together.  What a place!  Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket.  It was beautiful.  Iíve finally found my home.  I love it here.

June 14th

Really heating up.  Got to 100 today.  Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home and drive an air-conditioned car. 
It's a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.  Iím turning into a sun worshiper.

June 30th

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.  Lots of cactus and rocks. 
What a breeze to maintain.  No more mowing for me! 
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th

The temperature hasnít been below 100 all week. 
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least itís a dry heat.  Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th

Fell asleep by the pool.  (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) 
Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do! 
I learned my lesson though:  got to respect the olí sun in a climate like this.

July 20th

I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. 
By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a
shopping bag and exploded all over$2000 worth of leather upholstery.
I told the kids she ran away. 
The car smells like Kibbles and cat poop.   No more pets in this heat!

July 25th

Dry ****ing heat, my ass.  Hot is hot!! 
The air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200
just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th

Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. 
$1100 in damn house payments and we canít even go inside. 
Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th

115 degrees.  Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. 
Stupid repairman urinated in my pool.  I hate this stupid state!

Aug 8th

If another wise ass cracks, ďHot enough for you today?  Iím going to tear his  throat out. 
Damn heat!  By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over,
my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!!

Aug 10th

The weather report might as well be a recording:  Hot and Sunny.
Itís been too hot to for two damn months and the weatherman says
it might really warm up next week.  Doesnít it ever rain in the barren damn desert?
Water rationing has been in effect for the summer, so $1700 worth of cactus just dried up
and blew into the damn pool!  Even a cactus canít live in this heat!

Aug 14th

Welcome to Hell!!  Temperature got to 123 today.  Forgot to crack the window and blew the  windshield out of the Lincoln.  The installer came to fix it and said,
ďHot enough for you today?Ē 
My wife had to spend the $1100 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th

Worst day of the damn summer.  Iím not leaving the house.  Damn  monsoon rains
finally came and all they did is make it muggier than hell!  The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield.
That does it, weíre moving to New York for some peace and quiet!
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